Friends With Benefits – The Pros, the Cons, & What to Do If You Catch Feelings For Yours

Clearly, friends-with-benefits -relationships are increasingly common for college students and twenty-somethings, who spend a good portion of their youth in relationships sans commitment. While such no strings-attached situations can work beautifully for short or even long periods of time, they can get messy for one or both parties involved. These non-relationships usually leave at least one person considering the possibility of more. nahls

Many people believe that the conclusion of a friends-with-benefits -relationship is most difficult for women because they are the ones who typically become more attached- compliments of their socialization as females coupled with the release of oxytoicn. Yes, it is often easier for men to compartmentalize, viewing sex as a purely physical act, but if the sexual relationship goes on long enough, emotions make their debut-even for the boys.
When one person catches feelings, things change. At this point, there are strings attached-whether they are acknowledged or not. It is best for both partners to re-evaluate and consider whether or not the non-relationship should end or progress to the next level. The current trend, however, seems to be an increasingly universal aversion to the “what are we” chat. (Women know how much men hate it, and they’ve grown to hate initiating it!) Consequently, there are many young people whose love lives can be defined as grey blobs of ambivalence.

Often, these situations turn into competitions over who could wear their poker face the longest! Perhaps, the one who recognized the development of his or her feelings first tries to deny them for some time, believing their relations will not be affected. (Alternately, they think that the feelings will eventually go away if they aren’t reciprocated.) The other partner is all too happy to pretend of their nonexistence or maybe create a little distance so as not to lead the other on too much. Needless to say, Messipoker it is common for these relationships to go on for much longer than they should.

Yes, friends-with-benefits relationships can be comfortable, convenient, and quite fun. They provide a solution for those who don’t have the time or desire to date and offer a way for both men and women to keep their options and have their go-to-person for when things get lonely. Indeed, such interaction can be a safe and ideal way to explore healthy sexuality and build relationship skills with a partner. If the truth isn’t on the table, these relationships can also induce their fair share of heart break.

When it is all said and done, however, the reality is often that there is no relationship. If you are desiring more, it is time to say goodbye.

Rachel Russo is a Marriage& Family Therapist, Relationship Coach, and Writer in NYC. She is an It girl on a mission to save the world-one relationship at a time. preferablepups

Rachel currently practices psychotherapy at Marriage & Family Therapy of NY and consults with a private clientele of diverse singles on the challenges of modern day dating. She is a former matchmaker who writes marketing copy for professionals in the relationship coaching/ matchmaking/psychotherapy industry, as well as thought-provoking articles on relationships, dating, and self- improvement.


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